A New Reality

Today was a rough day. Nothing terrible happened, it was just a reminder that as well as Gabe has done, he is still a micropreemie and he now lives by a different set of rules.

This afternoon, I fed Gabe and then he was snuggling on my shoulder when he spit up. He's not a huge spitter, but it definitely happens. Then he spit up again. And again. He spit up 7 times in 40 minutes, which seemed like a bit much. I texted the pediatrition to just ask if this was something to worry about and she told me to bring him in.

After an exam, the doctor concluded that there was nothing wrong and he just needed to spit up that much. However, because of his history in the nicu and the list of digestive problems nicu babies can have, she gave me a list of things to watch out for and said that he definitely needed checked out to rule out all sorts of nasty things. So far, he's had absolutely none of them and he's fine. But it did scare me, not the spitting up so much, but the realization that he does have the potential for a lot of things that normal babies don't have to deal with. As she started telling me about the things that it could be related to, all I could think about was the fact that we're not going back to the hospital. I finally got my baby home. I don't know if I could go back to all of that now. I just couldn't.

It was just spit up. It's nothing and he's fine. But apparently I've got a long ways to go to emotionally deal with everything that happened.

In other news, Pat got his cast off today!!

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