Miscarriage and Infant Loss Day

-
Dear Gabe,

Today is Miscarriage and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, the day that we remember all of the babies that we didn't get to bring home.  I can't help think about how close we came to not bringing you home.  You shouldn't be here, my little man.  When we found out that I had an incompetent cervix and that you were literally falling out of me, you shouldn't have survived that.  The sac should have popped and that would have been the end.  Then you shouldn't have survived the cerclage surgery.  The doctor told us that he'd never pushed a sac back in and he didn't know if it was even done.  Dad and I went to the hospital that day knowing that we were probably going to have to say goodbye that day because you were too little.  But you held on.  And then when the placenta abrupted and I had you at 23 weeks, you shouldn't have held on then either.  You were so small.  But you did.  You're a little fighter.  You were determined to live.  Then the doctor said that you'd be in the hospital for at least 4 months and you got out at 3.  You have defied every expectation that the doctors have ever given us.  And I'm so glad.  I can't imagine my life without you here in it.

Keep fighting little guy.  God's got big plans for you.

Mom

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Car Wash

-
Image
Spring is finally here and it feels so good!! I mean, it still freezes overnight, which makes for sound very cold morning runs, but then it’s warm during the day. In fact, it was so warm, that Gabe wanted to run in the sprinkler. Pat had screwed the sprayer on so tight that I couldn’t get it off, which was the only reason he didn’t… Instead he decided to wash the car. I’m not going to say that the quality of the car wash was the best, but I will not complain about a kid wanting to wash my car. Yesterday there was a sports team doing a car wash fundraiser and I was going to take the car in, but Gabe was proud of his washing job, so we didn’t. I think my car is going to look like this for a while… Then we got dinner at the food trucks and headed home for a fire and s’mores.
Read more

A Very Cold Day

-
Image
We had another round of ski lessons yesterday. Unfortunately, it was cold. Very, very cold. Realistically it was just the wind chill. We would have been fine skiing in the teens, but the wind knocked it down and extra 15 degrees and that was too much. Pat and I took our gear, but decided it was way too cold, so we hung out in the lodge waiting for the boys.  A half hour into the lesson, I got a call from a friend that works up there that Josy was in the office. He’d made it a half hour before deciding that it was too cold to ski. So he hung out in the lodge with us. Gabe made it the whole time and didn’t want to quit to come inside. But Pat told him no and as soon as he came in, he realized that his fingers and ties were numb.  We ate lunch and then headed home. Hopefully the weather will be more pleasant next weekend…
Read more

Utah/California: Day 3

-
Image
This morning we went to IHOP for some pancakes. Gabe picked the Scary Pancake, which he thought was delicious. Josy, who is very excited to hang out with Bella, informed the waitress that “her name is Bella and she’s our lovely sister!” The waitress thought he was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. Then we made it way to Bryce Canyon. We stopped in Red Canyon got a photo stop (and bathroom break…). Then we got to Bryce Canyon, which was amazing!! We stopped at one of the random lookouts before hitting the amphitheater. We hiked from the Bryce lookout to Inspiration Point, which ended up being about 3.5 miles, round trip. The two big kids did great. Josy struggled. His legs were tired and he was in pain. But he struggled along and ended up with a few shoulder rides. At one point Pat told him that he was “the Little Engine that Could.” He said no, he was “the Big Engine that was sore.” Gabe found a lizard that he insisted on taking a picture of. Then we headed back to town and had dinner
Read more